Epicurus’ Way to Happiness—Reject It, Suffer Foolishly
July 12, 2025
Most People Are Miserable Not Because They Have Too Little—But Because They Expect Too Much
I’ve had the money. I’ve had the momentum. Still felt dead inside.
That’s the part nobody warns you about. You grind, you chase, you hit the numbers, and yet when the dust settles, you’re left staring at the ceiling, wondering why it all feels so empty. The world is a carnival of noise, selling you the next fix—more money, more status, more “likes.” But the more you chase, the more you lose yourself.
Happiness isn’t about getting more. It’s about needing less, thinking cleaner, and owning your rhythm. Most people are miserable not because they have too little, but because they expect too much. The grind, the noise, the endless chase for meaning through achievement or wealth—it’s a treadmill with no finish line. You don’t need more. You need less noise, fewer needs, and clarity about what truly matters.
A. The Lie of Modern Happiness
Modern life is a dopamine treadmill. You’re told to optimise, to hustle, never to be satisfied. Every app, every ad, every “motivational” post is a cattle prod, pushing you to want more, do more, be more. But the harder you chase happiness, the more it slips away. Alan Watts nailed it: the more you demand joy, the more it evades you. The act of chasing is itself the barrier.
Look at the markets. Traders who obsess over every tick, who chase every win, end up more anxious than those who execute clean systems with zero emotion. The ones who detach, who let go of the outcome, find a strange kind of peace—even when the results aren’t perfect. The same is true in life: the more you try to force happiness, the more you end up resenting the process.
The world sells you the lie that happiness is a product, a destination, a reward for effort. But the truth is, happiness is what shows up when you stop lying to yourself about what you need.
B. What Epicurus Meant by Happiness
Epicurus gets misquoted as the philosopher of indulgence. But he wasn’t about excess—he was about clarity. Happiness, for him, was the absence of unnecessary pain, not the pursuit of endless pleasure.
Strip away what hurts. Remove the excess. Build quiet satisfaction.
How does that look in real life? Cut toxic people. Sleep more. Eat simple, clean food. Stop chasing social validation. Real happiness isn’t a party—it’s calm nerves, a clear conscience, and quiet wins that don’t need applause.
You don’t need to add more to your life. You need to subtract what’s making you miserable. Epicurus would tell you: happiness is subtraction, not addition.
C. When You Know You’re Not Happy (and How to Catch It)
Let’s get honest. You know you’re not happy when you win and still feel numb. When you hit a goal, the satisfaction can evaporate in minutes. When you’re always “one more thing” away from peace, and the finish line keeps moving. When you can’t sit still without a screen in your hand, scrolling, swiping, distracting yourself from the silence.
That’s the real symptom: you can’t be alone with your mind. Susan Cain’s insight cuts deep—people avoid stillness because they’re afraid of what shows up when the noise dies. The silence is uncomfortable because it exposes the truth: you’ve been running from yourself. You’re terrified of what you’ll find if you stop moving.
So you fill every gap with stimulation. You binge-watch, you doomscroll, you chase the next “hit.” But all you’re doing is running from the discomfort that could set you free.
The fix isn’t more stimulation. It’s quieter. Create space. Turn off the phone. Sit with your thoughts. Let the discomfort teach you what you’ve been avoiding. Happiness isn’t found in the next distraction—it’s found in the quiet after you stop running. The first time you sit in that silence, it’ll feel like withdrawal. But if you stick with it, you’ll start to hear your voice again—the one that knows what you want, not what you’ve been told to like.
D. Control vs Freedom
Here’s the trap: you think if you control every variable, you’ll finally be happy. You plan every hour, optimise every routine, and track every metric. But all that control becomes a prison. Friedrich Hayek warned us—happiness collapses when control replaces freedom. Most unhappiness comes from being over-structured and under-liberated.
In trading, the more you over-optimise your system, the more you lose the flow state. You become rigid, anxious, and unable to adapt. In life, hyperplanning every hour kills the joy of spontaneous movement. You become a prisoner of your calendar, suffocating under the weight of your expectations.
You want to know why you feel burnt out? It’s not because you’re doing too little. It’s because you’re doing too much, with no room to breathe. You’ve scheduled out every moment, left no margin for surprise, for rest, for actual living.
Flip it. Build margin into your schedule. Take a day off with no plan. Kill three apps you never needed. Give yourself room to breathe, to move, to be surprised. Freedom isn’t chaos—it’s the space where happiness can show up uninvited. The best moments in life are rarely the ones you planned. They’re the ones that happened when you finally let go.
E. Tactical Blueprint for Earned Happiness
Here’s what works:
- Create a short list of real joys. Not what looks good on Instagram—what makes you feel light?
- Remove ten things that don’t matter: physical clutter, digital noise, pointless obligations.
- Move your body, not for a six-pack, but to feel alive.
- Set boundaries that protect your energy. Say no, even when it’s awkward.
- Journal what made you feel light, not what looked impressive.
- Be brutally honest about who drains you, and why you still let them.
Happiness isn’t something you chase. It’s what shows up when you stop lying to yourself. You don’t need more. You need less noise, fewer needs, and clarity about what truly matters.
Conclusion
Let’s stop pretending. Happiness isn’t about gain—it’s about alignment. It’s about stripping away the junk, the noise, the expectations that never belonged to you in the first place. You can’t chase peace. You build the conditions where it can show up. You create space, you cut the crap, and you let yourself breathe.
Epicurus had it right: happiness is the absence of unnecessary pain, not the presence of endless pleasure. Susan Cain reminds us that the quiet is where the truth lives. Hayek warns that too much control suffocates the soul. Alan Watts says happiness appears when you stop demanding it.
So here’s the real: If you’re still miserable after all the chasing, maybe it’s time to stop running. Perhaps it’s time to sit in the silence, kill the noise, and let happiness find you for once. Strip life of junk, and you’ll realise happiness isn’t hidden. It was just buried under noise.
You don’t need more. You need less. You need clarity. You need freedom. And you need the guts to stop lying to yourself about what matters.
