Editor: Philip Ragner | Tactical Investor
The Modern Dilemma: Scheduling Sex Amidst Hectic Lifestyles
July 9, 2023
In today’s modern world, where time has become a luxury, the intricate dance of love often finds itself confined within the boundaries of a busy schedule. The American way of life, characterized by its rapid pace and relentless demands, has given rise to an unexpected phenomenon: scheduled intimacy. This article takes a deep dive into the factors that have led to this trend’s emergence, its potential consequences, and the empirical evidence that supports these insights.
Amidst the whirlwind pace of the 21st century, the landscape of intimate relationships is undergoing a transformation. The conventional spontaneity that once defined sexual encounters is gradually making way for structured and prearranged liaisons, a shift predominantly propelled by the demands of contemporary living. This article delves into the intricacies of this emerging trend, exploring its far-reaching implications and substantiating its observations with compelling data.
The Busy American Lifestyle: A Toll on Intimacy
The contemporary lifestyle, marked by its unrelenting pace and demanding nature, has left minimal space for spontaneous intimacy. In a recent study undertaken by EdenFantasys, a prominent sex toy website, a survey encompassing 2,000 individuals in relationships shed light on this phenomenon. The study’s outcomes were quite telling: on average, couples dedicate approximately 69 minutes per week to sexual activity, equating to around nine monthly sessions. While a fortunate 3% of respondents claimed a frequency of 30 sessions per month, a substantial 60% expressed dissatisfaction with their level of sexual engagement. What are the primary factors attributed to this situation? Hectic schedules and the presence of children.
The Decline in Sexual Frequency: A Dual-Factor Problem
The survey results suggest that the decline in sexual frequency among Americans can be attributed to two main factors. Firstly, an increasing number of individuals lack a steady or marital partner. Secondly, those with partners are experiencing a decrease in sexual frequency. This decline paints a picture of a society where time constraints and changing relationship dynamics reshape intimate relationships.
The Rise of Scheduled Sex: A Necessary Adaptation?
In the face of declining sexual frequency, the rise of scheduled sex appears to be a pragmatic adaptation to the constraints of modern life. The survey revealed that more than half of the respondents were proactive in maintaining their sex lives, even if it meant penciling in intimate moments into their planners. A total of 52% admitted to scheduling their intimate moments, with Saturday night being the most popular choice. An additional 5% reported planning a date night to precede their intimate time.
This trend towards scheduled sex is not merely a reflection of time scarcity, but also a testament to the resilience and adaptability of modern couples. It demonstrates a commitment to maintaining intimacy and connection amidst the pressures of daily life. While it may seem counterintuitive, scheduling sex can actually provide a sense of certainty and anticipation, which can enhance the overall experience.
However, it’s important to note that this approach requires careful handling. Scheduled sex should not become another task on a to-do list, but rather a prioritized time for connection and intimacy. It’s crucial that couples approach this with a sense of flexibility and openness, ensuring that it doesn’t lead to additional stress or pressure. Ultimately, the goal is to nurture the relationship and maintain a satisfying sex life, regardless of how busy life may get.
The Psychological Impact of Scheduled Intimacy
Although scheduling intimacy might appear as a pragmatic solution to time constraints, delving into its psychological implications is crucial. Some experts posit that this practice could intensify pressure and performance-related anxieties. On the contrary, others argue that it might amplify anticipation and excitement, ultimately leading to more fulfilling experiences. The crux of the matter lies in sustaining open dialogue and ensuring both partners are at ease with the arrangement.
From a societal standpoint, the inclination toward scheduled intimacy mirrors broader shifts in our perspectives concerning work, leisure, and relationships. In our ongoing quest for productivity and efficiency, even the most private of moments are becoming streamlined. Nevertheless, this doesn’t necessarily imply that romance and spontaneity have become obsolete. Rather, they could be assuming new guises in response to our evolving lifestyles.
Scheduling Sex Might Ruin Spontaneity?
Allocating time for sexual activity isn’t always a simple endeavour. Juggling demanding work routines, social obligations, and even a hint of lethargy can make it easy for such matters to slip through the cracks.
Sex and relationship counsellor Julie Jeske proposes, “Create a reminder.” While it might sound unremarkable and devoid of allure, the reality is that individuals are so preoccupied that sexual pleasure often fades into the background. Jeske explains, “People genuinely desire spontaneity in their sexual encounters and fear that scheduling might erode the passion or mystique. Yet, we schedule other vital aspects of our lives—medical appointments, exercise, and time with friends.” So, why not extend this practice to sex?
Over 50% of Americans Schedule Sex, Survey Reveals
Lauren Brim, a sexual wellness coach and the author of “The New Rules of Sex,” emphasizes the significance of maintaining an active sexual life. Brim asserts, “Sexuality and intimacy are manifestations of our vitality, creativity, and love. To fully realize our identity, we must express them.” She also highlights the potential repercussions of suppressing one’s sexuality, suggesting that it could manifest as issues in various areas of life and the body. Brim adds, “Moreover, sex offers undeniable benefits for your well-being; it’s far too valuable to forgo.” Therefore, if you find yourself struggling to carve out time for intimacy, it might be the right moment to integrate sex into your schedule. Full Story
CNN Views In on Scheduling Sex
Wondering if you should amp up your bedroom activity after hearing about couples vowing to engage in daily sex or learning about the myriad health benefits of intimacy?
In a comforting revelation for those grappling with work exhaustion and parenting stress, research proposes that having sex every day might not be the sole route to reaping the positive outcomes associated with intimacy—particularly concerning happiness and relationship closeness.
A recent study discovered that while individuals in committed relationships or marriages who engaged in more frequent sexual encounters generally reported feeling happier, the level of benefit began to plateau when sexual activity occurred once a week. Surprisingly, those who reported partaking in intimate moments four or more times weekly did not experience any greater sense of happiness compared to those engaging weekly.
Dr. Amy Muise, an expert in relationship psychology, states, “The quality of one’s romantic relationship plays a pivotal role in overall happiness for people in relationships. Surpassing a sexual frequency of once a week may not necessarily enhance the connection within that relationship, though it certainly isn’t detrimental.”
Nonetheless, there are certain intricacies tied to this research, as pointed out by Muise. One ambiguity pertains to the sequence of events—whether sex led to happiness or vice versa. It’s plausible that individuals who engage in weekly or more frequent sexual activity were inherently happier in their relationships and lives, and the act of sex itself might not be the primary contributor to their contentment. Full Story
Conclusion
In conclusion, the trend towards scheduled sex is a complex phenomenon, shaped by a variety of social, psychological, and practical factors. While it may seem at odds with traditional notions of romance and spontaneity, it’s important to remember that intimacy can flourish in many different forms. By embracing change and maintaining open communication, couples can navigate the challenges of modern life and nurture their intimate connections.
