Light Entertainment

[bpcw]

Classic!

But we were appy!

[scott]

The original version, with Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, and Marty Feldman.

Marty Feldman always cracked me up, just to look at him!

[SOL]

https://youtu.be/7GfWXN5Lp1s

[bpcw]

Loved him in Ladybugs!

[bpcw]

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT

Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.

[harryg]

It's a good'un.






James Hacker:
How many people have we got in this department?

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
Er... in this department? Oh. Very small.

James Hacker:
Small? How small?

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
I don't know...

James Hacker:
2,000? 3,000?

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
(Counting on fingers) Um. About 23,000 I think, Minister.

[harryg]

Ivan, can you work after drinking half a liter?
Yes, of course.
After one liter?
Mmmm.. yes.
After two liters?
I'll be the Boss!

Paddy was in court for breach of the peace.

JUDGE "How do you plead to the charges young man?"

PADDY "Not guilty by reason of possession by the evil spirits, your Honour."

JUDGE "I see! And tell me, did these 'evil spirits' by any chance have names?"

PADDY "Sure they did, your Honour. Tequila, Vodka & Whisky."







My doctor has advised that I should stop drinking.

It will be a really big change for me -





I've been with that doctor for nearly 20 years.

[Yodean]

https://twitter.com/i/status/1576497114443497474

*****

My type of chick, overhand right followed by groin kick, followed by another overhand right. Then left scene, before coppers arrive ... very cool.

Prolly had some type of Krav Maga training, I suspect. Ideally she should have performed all 3 strikes in succession without pause, but prolly wanna give the bully a chance to walk away.

[LoriPrecisely]

My type of chick, overhand right followed by groin kick, followed by another overhand right. Then left scene, before coppers arrive ... very cool.

Prolly had some type of Krav Maga training, I suspect. Ideally she should have performed all 3 strikes in succession without pause, but prolly wanna give the bully a chance to walk away.

OhMyGosh, I need to learn this...just in case!!

[Yodean]

OhMyGosh, I need to learn this...just in case!!

You live in the USA, so prolly best to just buy a few guns.

[scott]

OhMyGosh, I need to learn this...just in case!!

You live in the USA, so prolly best to just buy a few guns.

One gun is enough; beware the one gun person, they probably know how to use it. Practice using it, including weapons retention, lest some Krav Maga dude take it from you (keep your body between them and your weapon, do not stick it in their face, Krav Maga dude or not).

[LoriPrecisely]

OhMyGosh, I need to learn this...just in case!!

You live in the USA, so prolly best to just buy a few guns.

One gun is enough; beware the one gun person, they probably know how to use it. Practice using it, including weapons retention, lest some Krav Maga dude take it from you (keep your body between them and your weapon, do not stick it in their face, Krav Maga dude or not).

Ha Ha
I seriously don't think I could shoot someone. I absolutely hate the sight of blood!!
I would rather just run, or do what that girl in the video did!! That was awesome!!!

[harryg]

Ha Ha
I seriously don't think I could shoot someone. I absolutely hate the sight of blood!!
I would rather just run, or do what that girl in the video did!! That was awesome!!!

Awesome indeed! - in that context...





Can you imagine arguing with her about the best way to load the dishwasher ?

[Cinnamon]

Ha Ha
I seriously don't think I could shoot someone. I absolutely hate the sight of blood!!
I would rather just run, or do what that girl in the video did!! That was awesome!!!

Awesome indeed! - in that context...





Can you imagine arguing with her about the best way to load the dishwasher ?

A way to cheat if you don't have that girls punch power, would be to carry mace, or pepper spray. Then mace the SOB and then kick him in the nuts.

[bpcw]

*****

My type of chick, overhand right followed by groin kick, followed by another overhand right. Then left scene, before coppers arrive ... very cool.

Prolly had some type of Krav Maga training, I suspect. Ideally she should have performed all 3 strikes in succession without pause, but prolly wanna give the bully a chance to walk away.

I can't believe my wife did that, does explain a lot though!