Light Entertainment

[SOL]

Well then all the more reason for someone that does not want to confirm to have a avatar that completely illustrates the point of non conformity while informing the viewer that behind this non confirming person is an intelligent mind

https://www.youtube.com/embed/kbt_FQJN0 ... 89&end=101

Priceless

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abNyhYNJseo

[harryg]

valentine.jpg

[harryg]

I was invited round to a meal at my friend and his wife's house. She was serving dinner and said "how many potatoes would you like Jim", I said "just one for me please". "You don't have to be so polite Jim" she responded, so I said "oh ok, I'll just have one you silly cow"!

Well if naughtiness is going to be allowed that opens up a whole new arena


Chap sitting next to me on the bus showed me a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend.”

He said, “Why? Is she a real looker?”



I said, “No, she’s an optician.”



And for balance


Chap really liked this girl, was going to ask her to marry him. But his mate said "Hold up, what about her Mum?"

Chap said "What about her?"

Mate says "All women turn into their Mum! Go and check out the mother, take my word for it".

So the chap goes to visit girlfriend's parents, notes that the Mum is a really quite a nice-looking woman, still in good shape.

Next time he's out with his girlfriend, he plucks up his courage, goes down on one knee and asks her to marry him.



She says "You must be fucking joking - I've seen your Dad!"

[bpcw]

Lol

[SOL]

I was invited round to a meal at my friend and his wife's house. She was serving dinner and said "how many potatoes would you like Jim", I said "just one for me please". "You don't have to be so polite Jim" she responded, so I said "oh ok, I'll just have one you silly cow"!

Well if naughtiness is going to be allowed that opens up a whole new arena


Chap sitting next to me on the bus showed me a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend.”

He said, “Why? Is she a real looker?”



I said, “No, she’s an optician.”



And for balance


Chap really liked this girl, was going to ask her to marry him. But his mate said "Hold up, what about her Mum?"

Chap said "What about her?"

Mate says "All women turn into their Mum! Go and check out the mother, take my word for it".

So the chap goes to visit girlfriend's parents, notes that the Mum is a really quite a nice-looking woman, still in good shape.

Next time he's out with his girlfriend, he plucks up his courage, goes down on one knee and asks her to marry him.



She says "You must be fucking joking - I've seen your Dad!"

Good clean naughty jokes. I debating on telling the joke that might be a tad bit naughtier that deals with the differences of Nun that is praying and one that is taking a bath.

[harryg]

Good clean naughty jokes. I debating on telling the joke that might be a tad bit naughtier that deals with the differences of Nun that is praying and one that is taking a bath.

Has it got soap in it?

You don't have to be as careful as us...

[SOL]

Good clean naughty jokes. I debating on telling the joke that might be a tad bit naughtier that deals with the differences of Nun that is praying and one that is taking a bath.

Has it got soap in it?

You don't have to be as careful as us...

Hahaha, harry you are old school and know too much. Yes, it has to do with soap, so I will let you tell it. It will sound better coming from the Joke Maestro

As for not being careful, the same rules apply to me. What kind of person would I be if i thought i was superior? I will answer that question. A pathetic one at best

[bpcw]

Good clean naughty jokes. I debating on telling the joke that might be a tad bit naughtier that deals with the differences of Nun that is praying and one that is taking a bath.

Well we haven't had nun of those jokes, and don't forget if it's about sex, they don't get nun!

[bpcw]

In the movie Play It Again, Sam, Allen plays the role of a confused divorcee. In his loneliness and insecurity, he desperately attempts to pick up women. At a museum of modern art, he approaches a lovely young woman who is admiring one of Jackson Pollock’s paintings of random drippings.

ALLEN: “What do you see in this?”

WOMAN: “It reinstates the negativeness of existence. Nothingness. The hideous lonely emptiness of the universe. The predicament of man forced to live in a godless, barren eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation, forming a useless bleak straight jacket in a black absurd cosmos.

ALLEN: (Nodding in agreement as he looks at the painting) “What are you doing Saturday night?”

WOMAN: “Committing suicide.”

ALLEN: “Well...what are you doing Friday night?”

[SOL]

In the movie Play It Again, Sam, Allen plays the role of a confused divorcee. In his loneliness and insecurity, he desperately attempts to pick up women. At a museum of modern art, he approaches a lovely young woman who is admiring one of Jackson Pollock’s paintings of random drippings.

ALLEN: “What do you see in this?”

WOMAN: “It reinstates the negativeness of existence. Nothingness. The hideous lonely emptiness of the universe. The predicament of man forced to live in a godless, barren eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror, and degradation, forming a useless bleak straight jacket in a black absurd cosmos.

ALLEN: (Nodding in agreement as he looks at the painting) “What are you doing Saturday night?”

WOMAN: “Committing suicide.”

ALLEN: “Well...what are you doing Friday night?”

you and harry could have potential second careers hahah. Love both jokes even though the first one fell more into the category of pun

[bpcw]

you and harry could have potential second careers hahah. Love both jokes even though the first one fell more into the category of pun

Thought you were tentative about sharing a nun joke and offending all the Catholics on the forum, probably not got too many nuns on here, investing their hard earned cash!

The Woody Allen scene I copied straight out of a kindle book I'm reading, thought it was hilarious so had to be shared!

The book I will put on the new books topic when I'm finished.

[SOL]

you and harry could have potential second careers hahah. Love both jokes even though the first one fell more into the category of pun

Thought you were tentative about sharing a nun joke and offending all the Catholics on the forum, probably not got too many nuns on here, investing their hard earned cash!

The Woody Allen scene I copied straight out of a kindle book I'm reading, thought it was hilarious so had to be shared!

The book I will put on the new books topic when I'm finished.

It's not just Catholics but everyone. I am not keen on offedinding anyone. It's a stupid endeavour at best lol.

However it seems that this forum has individuals that are more open-minded than i would have been capable of dreaming a few years ago. It's a testament to one single fact. One individual can be great but several great individuals are unstoppable

[harryg]

There can be a risk of causing unintentional offence, especially online. In real life it's easier to gauge an audience and they can see facial expressions etc.

However, many people nowadays appear to be offended at the slightest provocation, which makes things harder.

There was a sitcom in the UK called The Thin Blue Line, written by Ben Elton. In an episode about football, constable Habib, a young 'lefty' says:

"Some American feminists think sport was invented so that men could avoid confronting their sexuality".

To which Inspector Fowler (Rowan Atkinson) replies:

"Some American feminists think that phoning a woman while she's having an afternoon nap constitutes assault".

Indeed.

[harryg]

Cheery topic this Tuesday



Why do men die before their wives?




Because they want to.




Pretty standard old joke, just an excuse to introduce Alan King:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PypsMk_0QxY

[SOL]

Cheery topic this Tuesday



Why do men die before their wives?




Because they want to.




Pretty standard old joke, just an excuse to introduce Alan King:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PypsMk_0QxY

This was hilarious. I love those old comedy shows. Great comedy without the incessant need to curse and when they did curse it was only done to highlight a point. Now without cursing most of the comedians would not be funny.